Wood Pigeons Can Piss Off

Generally I’m all for nature; I like animals and insects, wildlife etc. but wood pigeons can just piss right off. Why?  I’ll tell you why.

For the past three months the world’s fattest and most smug looking wood pigeon has perched its rotund self two metres from our bedroom window. There the little bleader proceeds to hoot is little fucking beak off at 4 am. 4 am!

How can a wood pigeon look smug? It’s all in the beak and the knowing beady eye that says “you can’t reach me here and I also grew fat eating the best cherries off of your tree. It’s 4 am but I don’t care. I’m a pigeon!”  That pigeon is a git.

So I generally love wildlife as long as it doesn’t wake me up, give me smug looks, eat all the best cherries or perch just far enough away as to avoid me wringing it’s pudgy bloody neck.


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